Toldot: Hope

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Parshat Toldot opens with the heartbreaking yet hopeful scene of Yitzchak praying that he and Rivka will be blessed with children. Rivka, like Sarah before her, is akarrah, and it takes 20 years until she conceives. Many commentaries understand that Rivka, already proven to be one who takes action, was praying as well. How did they remain committed and hopeful for so long, in the face of such adversity?

Several unique elements may provide some guidance. The Torah depicts Yitzchak praying “l’nochach ishto,” in the presence of his wife. Rashi explains that they were equally devoted to their tefillot. Each stood in one corner, but together in the same room, highlighting the strength of their connection. Radak adds that Yitzchak looked at Rivka while praying and drew strength from her.

Also, the word used for Yitzchak’s tefillot is noteworthy. In fact, the same word is used twice –ויעתר- he entreats God and God responds to his plea. This mirroring of language highlights that Yitzchak’s (and by extension Rivka’s) tefillot were heard and answered. The Talmud interprets the word ויעתר based on the Talmudic word for pitchfork — עתר. Just as a pitchfork overturns grain from place to place, so does tefilla of tzaddikim change God’s decree from cruelty to mercy.

Today, in addition to grappling with issues such as infertility or health challenges, people are contending with loneliness and a yearning to see and hug loved ones. Yitzchak and Rivka teach us how to respond to such challenges — remain hopeful, be persistent, support each other, and focus on tefilla. Shabbat Shalom.

Lech Lecha: Go To Yourself

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“If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now, when?” – Pirkei Avot

Avraham is the paradigm of chesed and compassion, of doing for others. For this reason, it is surprising to read Rashi’s commentary on the opening words of parshat Lech Lecha. Rashi, noting the “kefel lashon,” double language, interprets the words “lech lecha” as Go for YOURSELF. Going on this journey to an unspecified destination was for Avraham’s own benefit: “טובתך והנאתך.” By going forth and having faith in Hashem, Avraham will be rewarded with becoming a father, not only of his own children, but also of a great nation. The Zohar, similarly interprets “lech lecha” as “go unto yourself…to know and to fix yourself.” Before Avraham could inspire others he needed to journey inward and strengthen himself.

Rav Kook expresses a similar idea on Modeh Ani. In his commentary on the siddur, Olat Ra’ayah, he explains that each morning when we wake up and are awestruck by the vastness of the infinite universe, we might feel small and insignificant. By emphasizing the I, and drawing on the inner strength and gratitude to God within ourselves, “the individual self remains undaunted, the ‘I’ finds divine confirmation and validation.”

Perhaps the message is that in order to be able to give to others and live a life of meaning, we need to be healthy and strong in mind and body ourselves. Shabbat Shalom🌻

Noah’s Drunkeness and Technology Addiction

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What can parhsat Noah teach us about dependency on or even addiction to technology? After the mabul, when Noah emerges from the tevah, he makes a bad choice. He plants a vineyard and gets drunk. Commentaries discuss the meaning of this story. Perhaps it is to teach us something about the nature of dependency and addictions in our lives. Drunkenness leads to Noah’s downfall. The midrash and Rashi take note of the unnecessary word “vayahel,” which literally means he began, but is also related to the word hullin – things which are profane, not holy. Noah stepped out into the world after the flood and should have planted something positive, a tikkun. He planted for his personal benefit, not for the sake of reviving the world.The Torah generally does not view complete rejection of wine as the ideal, but rather drinking in moderation and with positive purpose, such as kiddush. In Bamidbar, some commentaries point out that the nazir (who refrains from alcohol) brings a sin-offering to teach that shutting oneself off from alcohol or enjoyment completely is not the Torah ideal. The Ramban states that the Torah includes Noah’s story as a warning, more severe than that of the Nazir. The Torah allows for moderate drinking, but also raises awareness of the dangers of addiction and urges us to be mindful of this. One of the ways dependency and addictive behavior is expressing itself today is through technology. When used moderately and positively it can connect us to others and be a blessing, but excessive use can lead to unhappiness and isolation. The story of Noah’s vineyard reminds us to check in with ourselves and our children and evaluate our relationship with technology and social media and make sure it is being used well. Shabbat Shalom!

* photo from movie “The Social Dilemma”

Parshat Bereshit: Valuing LIfe

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Parshat Bereshit introduces the idea that all humankind was created b’tzelem Elokim, in the image of God. Ancient and modern interpreters alike view this as a foundational concept about the value of life. 

Rabbi Akiva is cited in Pirkei Avot as teaching that “beloved is the person created in God’s image.” The awareness that we are created in God’s image is a reminder of God’s love for humankind. In another midrash Hillel Hazaken cites this concept as the halakhic source for the mitzvah to care for our physical bodies as he was on his way to wash at the bathhouse. Yet another midrash explains that when we “shame” others, we are in fact shaming the likeness of God. So, the midrashic conception of tzelem Elokim ranges from the imperative to physically care for our bodies, to acting humanely and with love toward others. In other sources, creativity and procreation are seen as enhancing the divine image, while murder is the ultimate diminishing of tzelem Elokim in this world.  

Two contemporary rabbis and great thinkers expand on these ideas. Rabbi Yitz Greenberg defines tzelem Elokim as meaning that humans are created with infinite value, equality and uniqueness which should be used to enhance human relationships and improve the world. Rabbi Yuval Cherlow writes that the concept of the Divine image is the basis for all interpersonal mitzvot, and also teaches us to relate to the physical body and pleasure positively, within the framework of Jewish law. 

Now in particular, as we grapple with loss and with loved ones struggling with emotional well-being, “tzelem Elokim” reminds us of the preciousness of every life and the duty to protect and save lives. May we all find ways to see the tzelem Elokim in ourselves and others. Shabbat Shalom.

Creation of Adam by Michelangelo

Courageous Women

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“The best protection any woman can have…is courage.” – Elizabeth Cady Stanton

In discussing the laws of going to war, parshat Shoftim provides a model for coping with fears and anxieties as well as insight into what courage and commitment look like in serving one’s nation.

When the people approach a battlefield, the kohen is instructed to address them. His speech encourages the people to overcome their fear and to rely on their belief in Hashem as a source of strength. True courage is when one takes action despite one’s fears. In a voluntary war, the Torah lists several groups of exemptions due to circumstance. Surprisingly — given the kohen’s previous exhortations to overcome fear — the list of exempted people culminates with a person who is “afraid and disheartened.” Rabbi Akiva understands this to be literal: the Torah recognizes that some may be unable to overcome their anxiety, and ensures that they are encouraged to leave so they do not spread panic.

However, in a biblically mandated war (milchemet mitzvah) such as a war of self-defense, everyone is required to participate, even those who are fearful. Necessity and duty outweigh fear. According to the Mishna, even women are included in a milchemet mitzvah. The Radbaz says this is only a suggestion, and states that women served in support roles but not in combat. This is the halakhic basis for women who choose to serve in non-combat units in the IDF.

Stepping up (and leaning in) takes courage. This week marked the 100th anniversary of women’s suffrage. The right to contribute to society — to vote, to pursue education, to choose to serve in the IDF — may seem natural for women today, but it took courage and vision. Drawing on the strength and courage of the women and men who fought to make the world better, there is much more we can do. Shabbat Shalom and Chodesh Tov

Healthy Sexuality

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Parshat Ki Tetze opens with a disturbing law: when a Jewish man goes to war and desires a foreign woman among the captives, he may take her home on the condition that he waits one month during which her beauty is neglected and must then marry or free her. When seen in its biblical milieu and through the eyes of the midrashic rabbis, this law teaches us a lesson about healthy approaches to sexuality and the necessity of consent, and is particularly relevant for Israeli society this week.

The Torah emphasizes the soldier’s physical desire: He takes her based solely on her physical appearance: he “sees” her, “desires” her. She is known as “eshet yefat to’ar,” a beautiful woman. The woman has no voice or choice. The Torah’s concession to human weakness in allowing this woman to be taken would be unthinkable today and would be deemed a war crime. However, in the context of antiquity, the idea of putting constraints on victorious soldiers was revolutionary and significantly limited wartime rape. The midrash further discourages this behavior. Noting the incongruous placement of this law next to a law regarding polygamy and then the rebelious son (ben sorer u-moreh), the midrash teaches, “one sin leads to another sin.” Meaning, taking the eshet yefat to’ar into one’s house will cause conflict and a catastrophic breakdown of family relationships. It might be permitted, but it is toxic for everyone involved.

The Torah and the midrash were beacons of morality in a world where a female captive had no rights, which thank G-d is no longer the case. They remind us that sexual relations without consent has disastrous effects, and healthy sexuality goes beyond mere physical attraction.