The eighth day, which should have been the pinnacle of celebration, was pierced by tragedy. Parshat Shemini describes the ambiguous sin of Nadav and Avihu and their instant death. This is followed by the challenge of recovery for their father Aaron, who wants to grieve, and at the same time, needs to continue to fulfill his leadership role as Kohen. How does one cope with such conflicting emotions and responsibilities? 

After Aaron’s two sons offer up a “foreign fire” to God and are killed, Moshe attempts to console his brother. Aaron’s reaction is heartrending: “And Aaron was silent.” Even harder, Moshe then commands Aaron and his remaining sons that they may not follow the usual mourning rituals since they must continue serving as kohanim. One midrash interprets Aaron’s silence as a statement of faith in the face of the tragic and unexplained loss of his sons. However, some commentaries explain the silence as the only way Aaron could express his pain and inability to mourn properly. 

Aaron’s quiet pain is reinforced a few verses later when Moshe loses his temper and criticizes Aaron’s remaining sons (by extension Aaron too) for not eating the sin-offering (chatat). Aaron reacts by teaching Moshe that it would have been inappropriate to eat that sacrifice. The Talmud Zevachim explains that Aaron was correct to eat only of the sacrifices which were related to the inauguration of the mishkan, whereas it was inappropriate for an onen (mourner) to eat of the regular Rosh Chodesh sin-offering. 
This story is particularly resonant now, as it highlights the challenge and possibility of holding on to conflicting emotions. Amidst the grief, Am Yisrael finds the strength to continue and live. We can feel pride in the valor of our heroic soldiers and be committed to winning this war, and at the same time, we can feel and express sympathy and regret for this week’s tragic loss of life. Shabbat Shalom -Karen Miller Jackson